Beat the Reaper [Ebook Kindle ePUB] by Josh Bazell

characters ï PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook ¸ Josh Bazell

characters ï PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook ¸ Josh Bazell Read & Download Beat the Reaper µ PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook An for the mobAnd Nicholas LoBrutto Dr Brown's new patient who has three months to live ha. Hey fuckheadYep you the one with the track marks running down both arms trying to slide off into oblivion with the tilted head and the faraway expression staring at the sun like it s some four headed monster ready to steal your dreams twitching for your next fix like some random dog left out in the rain too long with a stutter stepping walk and attitude veering off from the rest of the universe like a bad dream you might want to sit this one out otherwise you might have than just a fogged up brain on your hands You may want to study a medical chart and have your CT scanned and actually study ligaments and tendons and muscles and bones and maybe even pass an anatomy class although that might be too much to ask because you re about to get your ass kicked and you ll need to be able to piece yourself back together later with the doctor s help of course And frankly that s what you re going to need loads and loads of helpThe medical industry is encased in a shitstorm the likes of which your coke snorting ass has never seen and it s about to get worse for you and your fellow fuckhead Americans And if you can stop being a worthless piece of horseshit for than one fucking minute you might actually have a prayer at making it in this world instead of ending up in some premature unmarked grave all by your lonesome staring at the bottom of a coffin at the age of twenty two with your eyes wide openThe good news is you ll die of lethal injection probably at the hands of some no name doctor when all you did was go and see the man about a head cold So at least you ll have that going for you Because if I really wanted to kill you I could shove a cork down your throat or jack you full of potassium until your eyes bleed or I could have one of the Latvian nurses on my floor who is really nothing than a worthless piece of shit who smokes weed than she does rounds and surfs the Internet like she has a gun held to her head ignore your ass for the rest of your miserable life peppering your chart with the standard healthy readings when really you re secretly dying of stomach cancerAnd don t forget that I ve worked for the mob hell they brought me into their family not the one where I had to prove that I m worthy by killing some innocent individual while he was sleeping or watching TV in the middle of the afternoon but the one where I was sitting around the dining room table on a Sunday afternoon shooting the shit I spent my formative years in dojos studying everything from tae kwon do to kempo so I know over 100 ways to make your ears bleed so if you don t get yourself straight and step the fuck off I ll plant your ass at the bottom of a cesspool and I ll work the next 120 hours without even batting an eyelashYep I might just be the craziest son of a bitch you ever met I pop Moxfane tablets like they re caffeine pills I take powernaps in a coat closet and I ll smear a pint of blood all over myself for the right cause I have what you might call a rapid onset addiction to bloodshed and I killed four men while I was still taped to a chair along with countless other fuckers that I d rather not mention since I m in WITSEC so I really have no ualms about killing an innocent or in your case not so innocent individualAnd while you may not think you re a dumbfuck and that you re actually being clever by trying to jump my ass while I m wearing scrubs there are at least forty different kinds of stupidity and over the course of our less than five minute interlude you exhibited every single one of them and probably about a dozen others that haven t even been medically diagnosed yet So yep you re fucked and that s even without your latest fixOh and whatever you do don t go to Sicily Trust me you ll thank me laterSincerelyDr Pietro Brnwa Bearclaw internPS If you know what s good for you you ll get some Mexican hairless beaver before you diePPS Don t be such a fuckhead fuckheadDISCLAIMER I really liked this book and this voice so much in fact that I couldn t write this review any other wayCross posted at Robert s Reads

Free read Beat the Reaper

Beat the Reaper

characters ï PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook ¸ Josh Bazell Read & Download Beat the Reaper µ PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook S a very strange idea that Peter Brown and Pietro Brwna might just might be the same perso. This book is A MAY ZING Straight up Please read thisIt s hilarious and wildly disturbing all at the same time Bazell is like the Chuck Palahniuk for sane peopleThis will just be easier if I uote Ron CharlesBeat the Reaper is a hypochondriac s nightmare but a reader s dream Josh Bazell concocted this comic thriller while working as a medical resident at the University of California San Francisco and if anything he describes here is true we should all become Christian ScientistsI want to tell you all about it the ridiculousness of certain parts other parts that made me seethe with anger and the vast cynicism throughout But you just have to read it The main character calls Lech Wa sa a pig faced bitchOne of the other things I like aesthetically anyway is that throughout the chapters there are little pictures of the Grim Reaper running with a scythe a tiny little thing used to indicate a break in the main character s train of thought Until he has this thought But rituals turn us all into fucking idiots Like those birds that sleep with their heads facing backwards because their ancestors slept with their heads under their wings Plutarch says that carrying new wives across thresholds is stupid because we don t remember that it refers to the rape of the Sabine women and that s fucking Plutarch two thousand years ago We still draw the Reaper with a scythe We should draw him driving a John Deere for Archer Daniels MidlandAnd after that the little Reapers throughout the book are featured driving a tractor GeniusDo yourself a favor and read this book Unless you hate things that are awesome

characters ï PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook ¸ Josh Bazell

characters ï PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook ¸ Josh Bazell Read & Download Beat the Reaper µ PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook Dr Peter Brown is an intern at Manhattan's worst hospital; Pietro Bearclaw Brwna is a hitm. Anybody who thinks the US doesn t need health care reform should read this book Since the author was a medical intern and the details about patient care seem horribly realistic I think I d rather read a Surgery For Dummies book and attempt my own future operations with a bottle of Jack Daniels a carpet knife duct tape and some rusty pliers rather than risk being admitted to a hospital after reading thisPeter Brown is a harried resident trying to get through another miserable day at a large hospital and keep his med students from killing too many patients But he s also a former mob hitman in witness protection trying to start a new life as a doctor When one of his old collegues shows up as a patient and recognizes him Brown spends the day juggling his medical duties while trying to keep his old pals from finding out where he isThis was a darkly funny and fast paced story with an original and outlandish premise The author s medical background makes for some gross and scary details about the kind of medical things they never talk about on ER or House The story of Peter frantically trying to keep the mob patient from blabbing about his whereabouts while dealing with a stream of medical problems is intercut with flashbacks to the background of how Peter became a hitman and why he turned on the mob and entered witness protection I loved this book until the ending Everything was clicking right along but it s as if Bazell just decided that it was time to end the whole thing and he just threw on the brakes and wrapped everything up in just a few pages It was pretty jarring and I wish he would have spent some time on the resolution but this was still a great but gruesome crime novel with a medical twist

  • Hardcover
  • 310
  • Beat the Reaper
  • Josh Bazell
  • English
  • 07 September 2019
  • 9780316032223